Do Dating Websites Work?

I've searched the web and picked out some of the quality black dating sites. The following four sites are some of the best ones to meet single African Americans. Each site will let you set up a free profile so you can check out the members and the features.

- BlackPeopleMeet.com is right now the most popular dating site for African Americans.

Black People Meet has many search options that let you find personals ads that match your all main criteria.

- BlackSingles.com doesn't get the amount of traffic that BlackPeopleMeet.com does, but it is the second most popular African American dating site.

Use the advanced search to find what you're looking for. You can use the "One Click Searches" and "Recent Matches" buttons to save time during your search.

- SoulSingles.com is another black dating site worth checking out.

It's a decent site, but there doesn't appear to be a way to see each members' login information. You could potentially waste some time contacting people who no longer use the site.

- BlackScene.com has an extensive profile set up and search options that let you define almost every single detail of what you're looking for.

Unfortunately, like SoulSingles.com, you can't see each members' usage information.

My advice is to set up a free profile at each one of the four sites before you join one. The main thing you want to see is lots of singles that you would like to contact within your zip code. The more members there are living near you, the better your odds of finding a match.

Maybe you have been avoiding the online dating scenes because you want to know “do online dating websites work.” Well the truth is that if they did not work; then there would not be so many of them. The truth is that over 30 million people have turned to using the internet to find that special person. They understand that with the power of the internet there is no such thing as limitation to the types of people that you can build a relationship with.
If you want to meet someone in Hawaii and you live in California then there is no reason that you should not be able to. We all know that the internet has changed the way that we do business and pay our bills. Well now today it has even changed the way that people are meeting people. There are dating websites that cater to any type of relationship that you are looking for. It is just up to you to know what you are looking for; and then find the site that you want to join.
When you first begin with the online dating scene; I would highly recommend that you avoid the completely free dating sites. I have had friends that were turned off from online dating because they chose to go with the free dating sites. The truth about the free ones; is that you may end up running into more people who are trying to solicit you for some product or offer that they have. Most of the people on these sites may not be looking for that relationship that you are trying to build.
If you find yourself sticking with the reputable sites; then you will be able to discover that the the dating websites work and they will put you in touch with all types of people that are looking for the same thing you are. Even if you have found it difficult in the past to meet someone; with access to the dating sites you will find that it can make it a lot easier.
So the truth is that if you are still single and struggling to find your perfect mate; you do not have to. If you have access to the internet and a computer then you have everything that it takes to get online and begin browsing some of the most reputable sites that can put you in touch with someone today.
The one thing to remember when you do decide to post your profile online to meet someone; is to remember that you should be as specific as possible about the qualities that you are looking for in that person that you are looking for. The more specific that you are in your post; then the people with the qualities that you post will begin to answer you ad.
Visit our site below to begin posting your profile so you can meet that special someone. The truth is that someone with the qualities you are looking for may be looking for you. However you will never find out until you begin taking action.

Tips for Sending Messages on Online Dating Sites

Do you want to spend your life hanging out in bars and clubs waiting for women to approach you? Personally, I'm too old for that kinda thing. So now I take things online and believe me... there's a whole world of eager, beautiful women waiting for a guy like you to meet up with them. Plenty more fish in the sea? There is when you have immediate access to the entire ocean.

I gotta tell you... trawling clubs and bars for The One is pretty hard work. Much easier to just sit on your butt and tap away online, right? You can find and meet beautiful, sexy women on Facebook, MySpace, Match wherever you want. Don't believe for a second that only those folks who can't get hooked up in 'the real world' hang around online. That's a shockingly outdated stereotype. In fact -- I'm willing to bet that the hottest women now spend most of their time online... purely for convenience. Think about it, we all have busy lives, if you want to meet up with someone why not just log-in to an online account? In minutes you can have a sizzling hot date lined up for the very same evening... And in a few hours from turning on your PC you could be lying in bed with some sexy blonde or brunette.

Thank God for the Internet! Of course, that makes it sound real easy but unless you follow a strict set of rules -- a kind of online pick-up blueprint -- you'll fall flat on your ass and probably get kicked off most of the sites. Sexy, gorgeous babes are just waiting to come across your profile. But you have to do things right... your profile needs to be laid out in a certain way. When you follow-up there are certain things you must say to increase your chances. It's all a process you can learn easily, fortunately.

Trust me when I say that there is a ton of hot women online, who really have their act together. Many are super busy business types who don't have time to trawl the bars to find a drunken date.

Many are really sporty types, who are too busy keeping their bodies super toned.

Many just are sick of loud bars and drunken oafs leering all over them.

Given that you can now join some online dating sites for free (plenty of fish for example) there is no excuse for not getting on there, setting yourself up a profile and seeing how you get on. There really is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Think about how exciting you'll find it each time you log on to find 3 or 4 new messages from sexy women eager to meet you. Mmmm...hold that thought for a minute...

Online dating success depends on sending properly targeted messages – either directly through the dating site’s interface, or direct emails you send once contact is established with a fellow member. Sending the wrong types of messages using Internet dating sites will see you at the bottom of the pile, with very few dates. Don’t let that happen to you.
In the online dating environment, the reality is that men are sending most of the messages. A recent study shows that men initiated contact with women members of Internet dating sites at a ratio of about 5:1. In other words, this survey is telling us that men are operating in a very competitive arena.
When women join dating sites, it doesn’t take them long to learn that, for the most part, their job consists of joining, putting up a profile with some pictures, and watching the influx of messages, winks and the like from men. To a large degree, this is because of membership gender ratios (more men joining than women), and also the fact that on lots of dating sites women can use many of the features for free, while men have to pay. And, because pay memberships are time-restricted, the guys have to pump out as many of their allowed number of messages as they can before their dating membership is up for renewal.
That’s not to say women do not or should not send messages to men that take their fancy online. Here are five tips each for men and women when it comes to sending and responding to messages on Internet dating websites.

Best Free Online Dating Sites – How to Find the Right One For You

One of the main problems with online dating is the extensive selection that is available. With so many singles we find ourselves getting caught up and involved with so many of them.

We would save a lot of time and emotions by being more selective. That way we are available for the Singles that fit our "must have" list.

Online dating is not like your local bar and grille where you may have a selection of 7-10 eligible singles on a good night!

Online your choices are endless! If you don't find who you want on one site? You just move onto the next singles site.

Start with your list of "must haves" and begin shopping! Take your time...the Singles aren't going anywhere!

Another problem with online dating, you can never be sure the photo of the person is really the person you are corresponding with! But I think that is a small risk for the quantity of singles you will have access to.

But look at it from the other direction. The Singles you meet in public could be giving you the wrong name, the wrong age; their current relationship status could be a lie. So, if someone is going to lie, they are a liar. Whether online or off...a liar is a liar!

That is the reason I ask so many questions. If that offends some of the Singles? Too Bad! I have a right to know what I am dealing with from the very beginning. If the Single you are giving the

"Third degree" to has been online dating for any length of time, they will understand your skepticism. If not...oh well...Next!!?

If you looking for some information on the best free online dating sites, then have definitely come to the right place. Here you will get a lot of useful information on the best free online dating sites. There is such a long list of dating sites on the Internet now, but you only need one. The problem is you need the right one. The best thing you can possibly do is some research; it will help you to find the most appropriate dating site for yourself. Luckily, there are many sites which have put the research together for you, and even have reviews from other people!
The aim of these sites is to provide a good quality resource for people who are like-minded and are looking for some fun and entertainment along with friendship and dating. With so many choices in front of you today, and with so many dating sites, the chances are high that you get lost in the search and cannot decide which one to go for. Best free online dating sites are a bit difficult to find it yourself. That’s why these dating review sites are specially designed so that you can put your hands on the best deal, and the right site for you.
Because these sites are maintained by your peers, you will always get very up to date information. Most of the best free online dating sites offer a free trail period and after that if you want to upgrade your search or upgrade your position then you have to pay a certain amount of money. This is why the dating review sites are so important. Without having to pay any money, you can read reliable reviews from other uses who have been there and done that. You never have to risk a dime.
With the review sites available, you will not find any difficulty in finding a good free online dating service. American Singles is a great free dating site thats great for the 20-30 year old range. It is definitely one of the best dating sites. This site allows you to create a profile of your own and upload your photograph for free. It also sends you email with some potential matches.
If you want to be able to chose the absolute best free online dating sites, you really should do your research. What is right for one person is not necessarily right for another. You can register yourself to many of the top tier paid sites, and create a profile completely for free. This, along with quality reviews, is the best way to find yourself a quality dating service.

Dating Mistakes in Friends Dating

Online dating is an excellent way to meet people as long as

it is done safely. Before you begin chatting with those

strangers on the other line, make sure to take a few minutes

to make sure that you know what you should and shouldn't be

doing. Like any type of dating, it is important to realize

that you do not know the other person on the other side of

the instant message. In fact, the online dating game makes

it even harder to know who is out there. Here are some

simple, effective ways for knowing how to stay safe during

online dating.

Tip One: Never give out personal information. One of the

most vulnerable ways that this can happen is simply telling

someone your credit card number, your online passwords, or

your social security number. If they want to buy something

for you, or need to borrow some money, run. Even if you

have talked to them for years, you should never provide this

information on the web. Instead, send them a money order or

make the purchase yourself.

Tip Two: Beware of people who lie to you. Now, this may

seem quite simple as no one wants to be around those that

lie. But, in the online dating game, you really need to

watch for those mistakes. As they found you, they can find

others. In other words, don't think that you are the only

one that they are chatting with. One thing the online

dating world is not is exclusive. Lying can be a sign that

they are keeping things from you that are much larger. Be

wary of this.

Tip Three: Don't provide your home address to anyone.

Again, you do not really know these people nor do you want

some nut case showing up at your house. Don't think they

will do that? Ask yourself why they wouldn't. Never

provide your last name either if you information is listed

in phone books or the web. Just make one up or simply don't

give one out. Having a name, phone number and address of an

individual is enough to get some loans.

Tip Four: If you plan to meet them, meet them in an open,

crowded place and stay there. Your first meeting should be

someplace like a restaurant, a park or a movie theater where

there are many people around for your own safety. Also,

don't stray from that location. On a first date like this,

you shouldn't trust anyone.

Tip Five: When you are participating in online dating, you

need to properly prepare yourself. Many of the people that

get on the web to find someone to talk to are just fine, but

there are those that are looking at you as if you are prey.

Not only do you need to protect your safety, but you also

need to protect your heart. Don't put it on the line. Make

sure your just looking for friends at first. If by that

slim chance you do find someone to love, that's great. But

protecting yourself first and foremost is your goal in every

online dating relationship that you enter.

This Article will cover some of the biggest flaws in dating women that men make. This article is based on the differences in thinking between the two genders. Men fail to see themselves through the eyes of a women hence continually find themselves making the same mistakes over and over. If this happens to be you, not to worry because there is so much information out there to help you on your way to dating success.
Men on dates are too goal orientated when it comes to dating women, which hinders their success. Men approach the task of dating like they do most other things, as a challenge. Rather than letting the experience manifest itself naturally, men on dates can seem rushed and preoccupied. Constantly trying to impress and come up with a new exiting thing to say comes across unnatural and forced. It doesn’t and shouldn’t have to be this way as dating should be a fun and interesting experience for both parties.
Remember this one thing if nothing else:
If you start to feel nervous and lost for words which is a common occurrence for many men on dates, remember that there is a good chance that she is thinking the same thing you are. If your nervous your probably making her feel nervous. If you feel like the date is going great then it probably is. Trust your instincts and be yourself and if you don’t impress her then its not meant to be.
There are many fish in the sea and its all to common for a guy to get hooked on a girl for years even though she has moved on years ago. Don’t put women on a pedestal because you think they are some beautiful magical creature. Women are wonderful to be around and lots of fun but remember that they really aren’t that different than you or I.
If you start treating them like they are god they wont respect you for it, this may seem counter intuitive but believe it or not women like to be treated bad once in awhile. I Am not saying for a second here not to pamper them-do not confuse me with a chauvinist. You no how you sometimes see those average looking guys with the really hot chicks? You think to yourself what the hell… right? What is he doing that I’m not.
This one topic can make men go mad but all he is doing is coming across as the dominant male.
You have to have some confidence about you in order to attract a lady. Women want to feel that you are in control of the situation and can protect them. This happens to be a very useful trait in women because it means even if your not the most attractive you still have a chance to win her heart.
Remember all it really is that wins a woman’s heart in the end is the perception that you are comfortable and confident with yourself. This may manifest itself in many different ways but the underlying message is the same.
Hope you enjoyed my advice on the topic of Common dating mistakes.

Asian Dating Websites: Do the Inner Work Before You Write Your Online Profile

Christian Dating does not lay down any special ethics for young people. Basic Principles of Christian Dating would simply include adhering to basic Christian values as per the Bible, just like in all other spheres of life. It may seem very simple, but it can be quite challenging

Certain basic principles of Christian dating can be:

-Not going on a date very frequently. This will retain the charm of your friendship and will leave scope to know more about the other person till your next meeting.

-Not going on a date alone. It is advised to go on a date with another couple. This arrangement makes it easy to remember your limits.

-Not giving in to any demand for physical intimacy with your partner. This is to walk on the way shown by God, as God has set a time for all things in life.

-Keeping God, before anybody else, and loving Him more than anybody.

Sticking To Your Values

One should not feel pressurized by what other people around him or her do, or how they feel about what you are doing. It is very easy to get influenced and be steered in the wrong direction. It is therefore important to remember the basic principles of Christian dating and uphold your values. Only a Christian will know about these values. Therefore, it is advisable for a Christian to have a person with the same belief for his or her date

Dating A Person With The Same Faith

A person from your own faith gives you strength to do things. This person acts as your support when you feel burdened under the pressure of happenings around you. On the other hand, dating a non-Christian will automatically increase the chances of your wandering away from religion and neglecting the basic principles of Christian dating.

Finding The Right Person

Christian dating sites are the ideal spots to find like-minded people. These sites have a large number of people from the same faith and you can shortlist a few if they seem like-minded, having similar interests and hobbies as you. These sites are safe and you can be quite assured of meeting the right people who will follow the basic principles of Christian dating. These sites also provide scope of exchange of ideas between two people, before they actually meet. In this manner, you can decide whether a person holds same ideas as you or not.

This is one article in a series of articles I’m writing for my clients which date on Asian dating websites, but it is useful for anyone who is dating online.
If you want a date, you will have to put yourself out there. If you are just looking at profiles and pictures, this will not bring you very far, and sending pre-formatted messages will not bring any dates, if your profile is not appealing.
Imagine: You send a ready-made message to a girl, what does she do? She looks at your profile, before she decides to react or not.
Now, you need to know what women are looking for.
A woman’s mind works differently than a man’s mind, and you probably already discovered that. Men often look at pictures, with each picture of a girl in bikini’s they think (or say) “oh, she’s cute!” – so that’s easy for the women, to play on that.
Women are totally different. They will first look at the picture: does he look friendly? Does he look clean and well-groomed? Does he look like he is a good communicator? Does he look trustworthy? They will look for anything which would disqualify you: so if your hair is greasy or your shirt isn’t spotless clean, they’ll see that and click you away, without even having looked at your text. When your photo looks good, they’ll read what you wrote, and the same applies here: They’ll try to find something, anything, to disqualify you. Remember, women often have much more choice than men have, and they are biologically differently set up, they are brain-wired in a different way. Women can only get one child per year, and maybe maximum 10 or 12 in their lifetime, while men can sire hundreds of babies if they want. For a woman it is much more important to find a reliable, caring, generous husband than for a man: a good-looking girl who will take care of his offspring is enough – stone-age speaking!
So, your text. First, you want to think of what women want from you. I am sure you have had relationships before – so have a good look from a distance at the women you have dated and you have been together with. What was it that made them angry or frustrated about you? Did they call you selfish, or workaholic, or…? Have a good look at the criticism they gave you, and turn that around in strong points. If your ex-es called you selfish, you might put in your profile something like “I know what I want and I can be pretty stubborn, so I need a woman who is independent”. A phrase I read somewhere and which says it all: “If you give me space I will come and stay with you, if you chase me, you will lose me.”
You see what I mean? Turn your “weak points” into strengths, so that you will not attract just any woman out there, but you will attract the woman who’s out there that is meant to be for you. The funny thing is, that if you are picky and distinct in what you want, women find that very attractive. And the chance that you get a reaction is much bigger than if you’re transmitting the message that you’re in for whatever relationship with whomever. Women want to be chosen, they want to feel special. if you put high standards, they love that. A woman wants a men with standards, not a man who will hook up with any girl who’s willing!
So, do some inner work. Evaluate your relationships, make a list of the criticism that you got, and turn that into strong points in your profile. Accept that you are who you are, don’t try to be different, because if you find a woman based on the wrong ideas, the relationship will not last – and honestly, most women feel that you’re not being sincere and honest and authentic. So, go and look for your authentic self there, and put that out in your profile, and you’ll see that you’ll suddenly get much more reactions – not only if you make the first move, but also women who will message you because your profile jumps out of the rest. Women browse profiles too, so, sit back, do your inner work, write your profile and see the results for yourself!

Single Dutch Women and Men on Dating Sites

An appealing online dating service screen name is essential because it's the first and only thing potential dates will see before deciding whether or not to read your dating profile. It's really very simple: The greater the number of clicks from your screen name to your profile, the greater number of opportunities you will have of meeting your soulmate.

Unfortunately, many singles put tons of time into writing a great dating profile, but make up their screen names and/or taglines as a hasty after-thought.

That is why the following dating advice on screen names may help you improve the number of potential daters who click on your online dating personal ad:



Remember that the goal of your screen name should not be to attract

but only the kinds of Christian single girls or guys you think would make a good mate.

No, it's not cheating. And yes, it's one of the best ways to build upon any original idea for your own screen name. So check out several dozen screen names you find attractive, and ask yourself what it is that makes those screen names or headlines such a draw. Once you do that, you will most likely have a couple of neat ideas.

A screen name can be an introduction of your heart to others. So put within your screen name a positive quality about yourself that your target may find attractive. Have fun thinking about this, and recall that humor goes a long way.

What do we mean by that? A screen name so overused and unoriginal that it just makes people flip right by it. These kinds of screen names will not only give a single person a reason

to look at your personals profile, but will also give others the impression that the single who wrote it is boring and uncreative.

As a sidebar, you could also try rotating different screen names among different dating services, and test which ones get more attention.

Are we taking a grammar test? No, but setting up your screen name in a way that makes it easier to read will help get you more clicks to your profile. So, if you're using a screen name with several words put together, try to capitalize only the first letter of each word. If the online dating site allows you to put a dash between words, you could try that as well. And I don't think we have to remind you not to us all CAPITALS, right?

The Internet service connects us with our soul mate online conveniently. Dutch dating services is one way to find your soul mate easily. Registration for a profile is the first step to find singles on the Internet. You can also add some pictures on your profile to attract it. Members want to search for personal ads with photos. Your profile will be searched more if there are any pictures of it. Any Dutch singles like you, they will contact you. You can do the same when your personal ad is approved. You can search for single Dutch girls or boys, women or men, and contact the ones you like. Basically, the dating process is really simple. Online dating saves time and money because you can find your soul mate on your home computer without paying any fee.
Dutch dating services is the best way you can find a long-term partner. There are some advantages when looking for love and romance online. First, you can search and contact number of lonely Dutch singles you like. Among many available singles, you can choose the best. It is your true love. You can’t find your true love at the bars. Only dating service is a tool to find your perfect match. Online dating is one of the most convenient ways for singles to find their soul mate. Single Dutch Men seeking women on the Internet takes a few minutes to sign up for personal ads. After their profiles are approved, they can start looking for singles. Dating online is easy and simple because you can find a perfect mate at the comfort of your home.
You should understand the Dutch women before dating them. A single Dutch woman is honest and faithful to love and relationship. If you are an American man looking for a Dutch woman, you should understand about her and her culture as well. Most of these women in Holland are beautiful and sexy. They prefer online dating to find their soul mate because they want to find a long term relationship. Bars and clubs in Holland are full of young people who will have fun. Trying to find a short-term date, please visit the bars. However, you cannot find a long-term companion at the bars. Moreover, it is very expensive to go to the bars or nightclubs that you must pay for drinks.
We all live in this modern century, looking for love and romance, relationships and marriage at Dutch dating sites is common and easy these days. In fact, it is easier to find a date online than in the bars. There are thousands of relationships that generated from the Dutch dating sites every year. You do not pay any money to use completely free dating service. Love should be free. You should not pay any money to find love online. There are many singles online waiting to meet their soul mate. What you need to do is create a personal ad and start searching for personals online. Your profile is the essential factor for the other Dutch singles watch so prepare it carefully. Once your profile is approved you can start searching and contacting single women and men.

Free Online Dating Warning Signs

With the divorce rate constantly rising and the number of single moms also on the rise, a great deal of moms are looking for dating advice. Every mom is different when it comes to dating and relationships, but all need to keep in mind that dating as a mom is different than dating as a single woman. You have not only just yourself to think about, but your children as well. Here are some tips for single moms when they are dating again:

Get A Reliable Babysitter

Before you can go out on a date, you need to get a babysitter to take care of young children. If your children are older, they should be given a list of rules of what they can and cannot do. The most important aspect of your date is to know that your children are cared for. Be sure to charge your cell phone before you go out on your date so that they or the babysitter can get in touch with you if needed.

Choose Men Carefully

Looking for Mr. Bad Boy may be fun when you are 19, but when you have children to think about, this is the last type of man you want to date. Look for men who have similar interests as you. This is what you look for in relationships when you are dating when you have children. You have children to consider and you never know when dating will lead to something more serious. Make sure the men you date are those whom you will want to bring around your children.

Do Let Him Meet The Kids

Many moms are skittish about the man they are dating meeting their kids. After you have dated a man a couple of times, it is a good idea for you to see how he interacts with your children before you go any further. You can see how he behaves with them as well as the reaction of your children. Children are often an excellent judge of character. Where you may be blinded by good looks or other attributes, your children will not. If your children, especially young children, do not like him, you should reconsider the relationship. Relationships are usually doomed when children dislike the man, or worse yet, he does not seem to like your children.

It is also a good idea for your children to meet a man with whom you are spending time. It makes it much less secretive in their minds and also gives them more security. If a man balks at meeting your children, he is not serious about you, or your kids.

Do Not Keep Secrets

If you are newly divorced or have been widowed, your children may resent the fact that you are going out on dates. Wait until they are ready to accept the fact that you need adult companionship before you decide to start dating. You are better off to be honest with your children than to sneak around.

With the divorce rate constantly rising and the number of single moms also on the rise, a great deal of moms are looking for dating advice. Every mom is different when it comes to dating and relationships, but all need to keep in mind that dating as a mom is different than dating as a single woman. You have not only just yourself to think about, but your children as well. Here are some tips for single moms when they are dating again:

The most important thing to remember when it comes to online dating is that if something does not feel right, then chances are its probably not. Follow your instincts. They are there for a reason. The main reason for using anonymous email accounts and other communication tools when it comes to online dating is because sometimes is can take weeks or even months for you instincts to finally kick in and tell you that something is not right.
So while you and this person are getting to know each other, it is best to protect yourself, or atleast your identity, until you know for sure that this person is genuine. The information presented below is to indicate when things are not normally as they should be.
1. When the person is inconsistent with the info he/she provides you. This might be a clear indication that this person is lying to you and/or not disclosing the necessary details that you ought to know.
2. When the person does not answer you directly but rather “beats around the bush”.
3. When the individual seems interested in you after the meeting but refuses to introduce you to his/her family and friends.
4. When the person seems to get angry very easy and/or irritated. This form of passive-aggressive behaviour is not cool.
5. When the person makes condescending remarks about you or your family.
6. When the person refuses to maintain phone contact with you after building a firm relationship online.
7. When the person continually states that he/she does not have a photo to upload for you to see and keeps making silly excuses.
8. When the person has no life ambitions and still lives with his/her folks.
9. When the person has been in jail before.
10. If the person seems alarmingly interested in someone with children.
11. When the person has too much baggage and bad history.

How Do You Plan a Good First Date?

When you date, you risk being dumped. When you date online the risk of being dumped is multiplied. In this post I am going to look at why dumping is inevitable, and why you shouldn't worry about it (too much). I'll finish with a look at the different type of dumps you might experience. The grande finale is an emergency plan to survive a really painful dump.

Why dumping is inevitable online -

Being dumped sucks. No one likes to be dumped. In evolutionary terms, we are primed to avoid rejection at all costs. The existence of generations before us dependent on, well, not being dumped. Avoiding pain is pivitol to human survival. This is as true when sticking your hand in a camp fire as it is when receiving a fierce scorching to the heart.

As sure as eggs is eggs, if you date online, you will (almost certainly) get dumped a few times. Perhaps more times than is polite, even. If you are a stranger to the experience of being dumped then this might come as a bit of an unfun surprise. It is however, part and parcel of online dating. Here's why -

Dating companies do not sell relationships per se. They sell access to a network of people. The relationship/love bit is a possibility, not a given. You would be unwise to realistically consider every person you meet on the way to the grocery store to be a potential life mate. Despite the dating "filter", it's good practice to apply a little bit of grocery store realism to online dating too.

Messaging is only a reflection of how you might get on in person. It's easy to mistake a "spark" online as a money back guarantee of a spark offline. You really have to meet in person to realize the distorted circus mirror that is emailing or texting. This is possibly the main reason why dumps that occur online trump the number of dumps that occur offline. Minimize disappointment with a pre date phone call.

You can't scout each other out properly online. Meet at work and you have the opportunity to check each other out in terms of eye candy and suitability while pretending to not being do that at all. When online dating you have to meet on a "date" - a heady meeting with the sole purpose to view each other under the harsh strip light of romantic intention. Dumps easily ensue.

You don't have the gift of time. Have you ever been nonplussed during a first meet? And then, with the fullness of time, an innocuous newbie in your social circle is revealed to be armed with the same charm and joy giving powers of a small pup? Online dating requires a person to be assessed in a single meeting, hence the petri dish for dumps.

Stage fright dating can be scarey and you or your date might not be able to give your best "show." Alas, dating "curtains."

I don't want to put you off online dating. I want to put you off feeling bad if you find a few dumps come your way.

Why you shouldn't worry about being dumped (too much) -

Online dumps are more common than offline dumps for the reasons proposed above. Let's look now at the reasons why you shouldn't worry too much and save your emotional dollars to spend on the "grande finale" dump, and not before.

For simplicity, anything other than an immediate proposal of marriage will be classed as a "dump." Arguably, if you haven't yet met in person and have only formed a digital connection, the dump will not hold as much impact as a parting of ways say after 3 dates. For ease, whether in the digital landscape or physical arena, a dump is a dump is a dump.

The most important thing is to try not to worry about it too much either way. Ten meets or zero meets, refuse to feel bad. Dumping is a symptom only of the nature of meeting online, not a sign that you are an unlovable pup.

Don't feel bad especially because:

It's not that personal - a lot of the time the je nais sai qua you establish online doesn't translate well in the real world. Nothing personal, just life.

It might be practical - practicalities that we think don't matter too much actually do matter, a lot. You live too far away, their work leaves no time, your politics are a squiffy match etc.

Heart out to lunch - you might meet someone whose heart is multi-tasking. Maybe they are still in shock from a difficult break. Nothing to do with you, so don't be blue.

Class clash - not always, but people look for matches from the same worlds. I met a date whose folks were dropped off to school in a Bentley. My most recent move involved a borrowed grocery store trolley. The gap was a chasm.

Offline you can evaluate whether you could realistically fit into each others lives before you entertain a dating scenario. This process of evaluating a good match may take 2 or 3 dates. 2 or 3 dates that would never happen if you already knew each other in person. The evidence of not being a good match would be pretty evident.

Diagnose your dump:

There are as many types of dumps as there are cheeses. I have chosen the most common dump scenarios particular to online dating, starting with...

The "online versus offline" dump

It's possible to message for weeks, have an actual digital meeting of minds and then meet and realize that you are two strangers with not a jot in common. I had this experience. If said chap had suggested a first date at the alter of a chapel in full wedding attire, I would have perhaps considered it. So confident was I that we were a perfect match.

There was a certain je nes sais qua which existed online, but not in the real world. Two nice people, able to connect online but nowhere else.

The "disappearing fox" dump

Repeat above messaging for weeks and the digital meeting of minds. Suggest to meet in person and never hear from them again. Odd.

This is where you need to try and not feel bad at all. They haven't even met you in person to reject you in all your 3D finery. Perhaps they like chatting online but didn't really want to meet in real life. Maybe they are secretly partnered up already.

A sudden disappearance, although odd, doesn't reflect on you.

The "practical" dump

You can overcome the first hurdle of meeting in person, like each other enough to arrange a few more dates and yet still not make it to relationship land. It could be a case of the "practical dump."

Distance, conflicting beliefs/politics/ lifestyle can knock a relationship on the head before it gets past the 2 month mark, despite genuinely liking each other. This kind of dump is a bit more ouch and tricky not to take personally. Especially if you have told the office, your family and anyone within a 5 mile radius. Ops.

The "maybe there's someone better" dump

Some people fall for the imagined possibility of a "better offer." The seemingly endless opportunity to meet people online can trick our brains into thinking there will always be an endless fountain of beautiful people queuing up to date us, rather than the reality that probably only a handful of people would really meet us before giving us the love Pink Slip. In this scenario, your current beau might see you as a bit of a "wooden spoon" prize and wonder if the heiress of Walmart is only a few clicks away. Let them click off in that case.

The "grande finale " dump

Also known as the "I can't believe you are dumping me" dump or the "I will never get over this ever, ever " dump.

This one is the worst and the one we all dread.

Emergency plan to survive the really painful dump

There's nothing you can do but suffer the misery and come out the other end at some point. Despite any advice not to, most of us in response to the grande finale dump will -

> be completely shocked having ignored the sense of impending doom that might have indicated that an ending was on the cards all along

> feel mortified and miserable and have absolutely no interest in anyone else because the dumper has all your love chips (for now)

> talk about it with your friends until they can bear it no more.

> think about it until you can bare it no more.

> try and "undo" the dump with calls and texts, possibly when drunk.

> check our phones for a message with a little sunken heart

> generally think about it a lot, feel miserable and wallow in the sadness of loss

Just like being born and meeting your maker, you are horribly on your own with the journey back to having a beating heart again. The only suggestion I will make here is to take comfort in the natural cycle of human behavior. The gaps between feeling poop and feeling OK will get bigger and bigger and eventually that grief ridden sensation in your tum will pass.

Maybe we never get over the wounding. The noise of life though will return from the muffling misery of loss and we can store the hurt along with all of the other disappointments in the dark recess of our minds with "no go" tape and restore the skip to our step.

Save up all your upset for this kind of dump, and don't waste your tears on the little ones that happen on the way.

Good luck!

How do you plan a good first date? Your definition of a good first date is certain to be very individual. Because you’re trying to arrange a good date for both you and someone you may not know well yet, it’s smart to go by a couple of generally-accepted rules.
Being on time and dressed attractively and appropriately for whatever you’ve planned to do is key. Your date is going to be unimpressed if you can’t get your act together. Even more importantly, be nice! Now is not the time for sarcastic wit or showing off a bad temper.
Second, do something that gives you and your date a chance to talk to each other. A bar crawl or a concert aren’t good first-date plans, because you might as well be alone if you can’t get to know each other. Something lower-key, such as an art gallery opening, coffee at a shop on an interesting street, canoeing, or visiting a park or nature spot all give you something fun to do and let you and your date get to know each other. Dinner, especially at a restaurant you know you like, is a good opening. Have a follow-up plan like a desert cafe or a good area for a walk in mind so you can suggest it afterwards if things are going well.
If a sit-down dinner seems too formal or too high-pressure, plan an activity that gives you something to think about other than how you’re holding your fork but still gives you chances to talk and joke around. Do you bowl? Perfect if you both do; sometimes even more fun if you don’t. Same goes for beginners’ night dance lessons, mini-golf, or the grownup version of arcades. If it would be fun with your friends, suggest it to your date.
Because you’ve planned an activity that will let you talk, what you talk about will be important too. Remember: a first date is about ice-breaking and having a good time. You and your date want to form an impression of each other, but it’s not a job interview. Steer clear of weighty conversation on touchy issues such as religion and politics unless you’ve got a good notion of what your date thinks, and whether he/she will enjoy talking about it.
One exception here is that it is a good idea for both parties to give the other a general idea of what they’re looking or hoping for from a potential romantic connection. If one of you is marriage-minded and the other is planning a cross-country move soon, that’s ground you ought to cover. Similarly, if one of you is separated-but-not-yet-divorced, or already dating six other people but looking to fill that Tuesday hole in your schedule, that’s not something you ought to leave for later.
However, it is just a first date. Overall impressions of what you want in the early stages of dating are all that need to be covered. You don’t have to hold a two-person referendum on relationships, and whether this will be one, on the first date. If you know that you’re conclusively for or against, though (“I want kids before I’m 30!” or “I’m just playing the field until after graduation.”), you should let the other person know that.
Planning a good first date really is individual to the people involved, but these guidelines will get you started. If you get a chance to talk to each other, demonstrate that you have good manners and good sense, communicate a little of what you’re like and what you want from life, and have some fun, then you’ve had a good first date!

Dating Site Nickname Tips

Once upon a time, not very long ago online dating was considered a very desperate and a kind of sleazy way to meet someone. It was right up there with answering personal ads to find Mr or Miss Right.

Of course we all realize that times have changed as they always do. Online dating has exploded, as well as online dating sites having popped up all over the Internet.

We now have people who have given up the traditional way of meeting someone and have opted for their computers to do the heavy lifting.

When you think about it, it makes sense to use online dating sites today. People are very busy. Who has the time to "kiss all those frogs" to find the prince or princess? Hardly anyone nowadays.

Just look at the advantages of using online dating services:

1) Numbers. Just like in business, where you're trying to contact as many people as possible to sell your wares, only it's you your trying to sell and to contact more eligible people.

2) This advantage is attractive to a lot of people online. Anonymity! You can be completely anonymous. You're not even required to post a picture, but if you want a lot of responses, you'll want to.

3) Safety. Online dating services won't reveal your personal information, so you don't have to worry about that guy or gal you've been chatting up a storm with, showing up on your doorstep unexpectedly.

Yes, times have changed, but practicing good ole common sense while using online dating services will go along way in keeping this activity fun and safe.

The nickname you’ll use online is the most deliberate clue about what kind of person you are. Say for example you got Ana3452 as a nickname, it won’t be a good idea since it’s simple and boring; naming yourself AnaHOTandsexy23 won’t make a good notion either. Certainly, there are lots of aspects to consider when choosing a nickname. Written below are fast guides in creating an outstanding nickname without sounding a sad person or a desperate man or gal.
a. Consider the situation you will be applying your web name. If for instance it’s a dating site, you most likely would like to recognize your sex using your web name, whether it’s by applying a gender specific first name. Implying that you’re handsome cannot hurt in this situation either, so go ahead and use nicknames such as CuteCarlo23 or HandsomeEdward23.

The Dark Side of Online Dating: Getting Dumped and Getting Over It

For most people, dating is extremely stressful, but those over 40 experience even more stress due to unique situations and issues. Some things that can cause complications are the issues of children, appearance, and being socially out of practice.

Even in today's society, men are usually the ones who initiate a date, so tips for them should be set forth. For those women who are confidently able to ask a man out, men should be flattered and say yes. She has, after all, taken away the awkwardness that goes along with asking someone out, and you already know she is interested.

All men feel some awkwardness when asking a woman out, but it can be especially frightening if you haven't done so for quite a number of years. Just keep in mind that women are nervous as well, and make sure you let her know that you are interested in getting to know her. This can be done by suggesting that you do something interesting together.

An easy date to meet for a cup of coffee will probably be less stressful and less threatening than meeting at a more romantic place. A coffee shop also helps avoid the topic of alcohol, which can be a dicey subject in some situations. Plus it is almost impossible to really get to know someone over the loud music associated with a club.

You should also be prepared for the chance of a negative reaction. You should remember, however, that she may simply be saying no to the suggested activity and not to you in general. It could be that she doesn't like watching sports, or she may not feel comfortable with her dancing skills, or maybe she doesn't know how to play golf. You can try suggesting somewhere else, or choosing a different day. At that point, it should be clear if she just is not interested in you.

One of the most important things for men over 40 to remember, however, is that rejection will happen occasionally. Remember that it doesn't mean you're an awful date just because the two of you didn't hit it off. Just take it in stride and move on. Don't give up, and the right person will come along eventually.

Men over 40 who are dating again should also try and remember what they shouldn't do. A good rule of thumb is to steer clear of the subject of your ex or other women you have dated, unless you're telling a funny story. You should also avoid trying to fill her with empty platitudes. If you hand out compliments, make sure they are sincere because women can tell if you are not being honest with them.

Family can also be a sensitive issue. While it is okay to tell your date about your children and show her a few pictures, don't go on forever. Above all, you should not make the date seem like a job interview for the position of stepmother.

Something else to remember is that in the early stages of a relationship, you should be warm and friendly, but you should not send out overtly sexual signals. This makes it seem like you are only interested in having sex, not a real relationship. Let things come naturally and don't send the wrong message.

Most importantly, be yourself. If you're honest, you don't have to work hard remembering what stories you told. Pretending to be someone else cannot last for long, and you will most likely shoot down the chance of forming any kind of lasting relationship.

When you date, you risk being dumped. When you date online the risk of being dumped is multiplied. In this post I am going to look at why dumping is inevitable, and why you shouldn’t worry about it (too much). I’ll finish with a look at the different type of dumps you might experience. The grande finale is an emergency plan to survive a really painful dump.
Why dumping is inevitable online –
Being dumped sucks. No one likes to be dumped. In evolutionary terms, we are primed to avoid rejection at all costs. The existence of generations before us dependent on, well, not being dumped. Avoiding pain is pivitol to human survival. This is as true when sticking your hand in a camp fire as it is when receiving a fierce scorching to the heart.
As sure as eggs is eggs, if you date online, you will (almost certainly) get dumped a few times. Perhaps more times than is polite, even. If you are a stranger to the experience of being dumped then this might come as a bit of an unfun surprise. It is however, part and parcel of online dating. Here’s why –
Dating companies do not sell relationships per se. They sell access to a network of people. The relationship/love bit is a possibility, not a given. You would be unwise to realistically consider every person you meet on the way to the grocery store to be a potential life mate. Despite the dating “filter”, it’s good practice to apply a little bit of grocery store realism to online dating too.
Messaging is only a reflection of how you might get on in person. It’s easy to mistake a “spark” online as a money back guarantee of a spark offline. You really have to meet in person to realize the distorted circus mirror that is emailing or texting. This is possibly the main reason why dumps that occur online trump the number of dumps that occur offline. Minimize disappointment with a pre date phone call.
You can’t scout each other out properly online. Meet at work and you have the opportunity to check each other out in terms of eye candy and suitability while pretending to not being do that at all. When online dating you have to meet on a “date” – a heady meeting with the sole purpose to view each other under the harsh strip light of romantic intention. Dumps easily ensue.
You don’t have the gift of time. Have you ever been nonplussed during a first meet? And then, with the fullness of time, an innocuous newbie in your social circle is revealed to be armed with the same charm and joy giving powers of a small pup? Online dating requires a person to be assessed in a single meeting, hence the petri dish for dumps.
Stage fright dating can be scarey and you or your date might not be able to give your best “show.” Alas, dating “curtains.”
I don’t want to put you off online dating. I want to put you off feeling bad if you find a few dumps come your way.
Why you shouldn’t worry about being dumped (too much) –
Online dumps are more common than offline dumps for the reasons proposed above. Let’s look now at the reasons why you shouldn’t worry too much and save your emotional dollars to spend on the “grande finale” dump, and not before.
For simplicity, anything other than an immediate proposal of marriage will be classed as a “dump.” Arguably, if you haven’t yet met in person and have only formed a digital connection, the dump will not hold as much impact as a parting of ways say after 3 dates. For ease, whether in the digital landscape or physical arena, a dump is a dump is a dump.
The most important thing is to try not to worry about it too much either way. Ten meets or zero meets, refuse to feel bad. Dumping is a symptom only of the nature of meeting online, not a sign that you are an unlovable pup.
Don’t feel bad especially because:
It’s not that personal – a lot of the time the je nais sai qua you establish online doesn’t translate well in the real world. Nothing personal, just life.
It might be practical – practicalities that we think don’t matter too much actually do matter, a lot. You live too far away, their work leaves no time, your politics are a squiffy match etc.
Heart out to lunch – you might meet someone whose heart is multi-tasking. Maybe they are still in shock from a difficult break. Nothing to do with you, so don’t be blue.
Class clash – not always, but people look for matches from the same worlds. I met a date whose folks were dropped off to school in a Bentley. My most recent move involved a borrowed grocery store trolley. The gap was a chasm.
Offline you can evaluate whether you could realistically fit into each others lives before you entertain a dating scenario. This process of evaluating a good match may take 2 or 3 dates. 2 or 3 dates that would never happen if you already knew each other in person. The evidence of not being a good match would be pretty evident.
Diagnose your dump:
There are as many types of dumps as there are cheeses. I have chosen the most common dump scenarios particular to online dating, starting with…
The “online versus offline” dump
It’s possible to message for weeks, have an actual digital meeting of minds and then meet and realize that you are two strangers with not a jot in common. I had this experience. If said chap had suggested a first date at the alter of a chapel in full wedding attire, I would have perhaps considered it. So confident was I that we were a perfect match.
There was a certain je nes sais qua which existed online, but not in the real world. Two nice people, able to connect online but nowhere else.
The “disappearing fox” dump
Repeat above messaging for weeks and the digital meeting of minds. Suggest to meet in person and never hear from them again. Odd.
This is where you need to try and not feel bad at all. They haven’t even met you in person to reject you in all your 3D finery. Perhaps they like chatting online but didn’t really want to meet in real life. Maybe they are secretly partnered up already.
A sudden disappearance, although odd, doesn’t reflect on you.
The “practical” dump
You can overcome the first hurdle of meeting in person, like each other enough to arrange a few more dates and yet still not make it to relationship land. It could be a case of the “practical dump.”
Distance, conflicting beliefs/politics/ lifestyle can knock a relationship on the head before it gets past the 2 month mark, despite genuinely liking each other. This kind of dump is a bit more ouch and tricky not to take personally. Especially if you have told the office, your family and anyone within a 5 mile radius. Ops.
The “maybe there’s someone better” dump
Some people fall for the imagined possibility of a “better offer.” The seemingly endless opportunity to meet people online can trick our brains into thinking there will always be an endless fountain of beautiful people queuing up to date us, rather than the reality that probably only a handful of people would really meet us before giving us the love Pink Slip. In this scenario, your current beau might see you as a bit of a “wooden spoon” prize and wonder if the heiress of Walmart is only a few clicks away. Let them click off in that case.
The “grande finale ” dump
Also known as the “I can’t believe you are dumping me” dump or the “I will never get over this ever, ever ” dump.
This one is the worst and the one we all dread.
Emergency plan to survive the really painful dump
There’s nothing you can do but suffer the misery and come out the other end at some point. Despite any advice not to, most of us in response to the grande finale dump will –
> be completely shocked having ignored the sense of impending doom that might have indicated that an ending was on the cards all along
> feel mortified and miserable and have absolutely no interest in anyone else because the dumper has all your love chips (for now)
> talk about it with your friends until they can bear it no more.
> think about it until you can bare it no more.
> try and “undo” the dump with calls and texts, possibly when drunk.
> check our phones for a message with a little sunken heart
> generally think about it a lot, feel miserable and wallow in the sadness of loss
Just like being born and meeting your maker, you are horribly on your own with the journey back to having a beating heart again. The only suggestion I will make here is to take comfort in the natural cycle of human behavior. The gaps between feeling poop and feeling OK will get bigger and bigger and eventually that grief ridden sensation in your tum will pass.
Maybe we never get over the wounding. The noise of life though will return from the muffling misery of loss and we can store the hurt along with all of the other disappointments in the dark recess of our minds with “no go” tape and restore the skip to our step.
Save up all your upset for this kind of dump, and don’t waste your tears on the little ones that happen on the way.
Good luck!